Monday, November 10, 2008

15 Months...and counting

This morning, the triplets had their 15-month well-baby visit...and I had an epiphany.

First, the stats:

Ava: 29" / 18 lbs. 5 oz. 

Eli: 30.5" / 22 lbs. 5 oz.

Cole: 32.5" / 27 lbs. 12 oz.

All in all, good health.  No ear infections.  No strep throat.  Which is great news...just not for Cole!  For the past 2 weeks, or so, Mr. Cole has decided he doesn't need to sleep through the night.  No...he starts screaming bloody murder crying until we pick him up.  Patting doesn't work.  Rubbing his back doesn't work.  Nope.  Has to be picked up...and immediately, there's peace and quiet.  We've tried the Cry-it-out (CIO) method, but we're a bit limited in how long that can go, since he shares a room with Ava & Eli.  We've even tried letting him CIO in our closet (don't worry...it's a walk-in with plenty of room and he's safe in a pack & play out of reach of anything he can pull onto himself...please don't send me nasty emails) but we end up feeling too guilty to let it go any longer than 5-10 minutes and we end up bringing him to bed with us.  All that being said, the doctor said there's NOTHING wrong with him.  And he actually ENCOURAGED us to let Cole CIO so that no bad habits are set.  So guess what Cole...if you wake up tonight...it's in the closet...doors closed...pillow over my head to muffle the sound!

As for me and my epiphany?  Well...I may be overstating things when I call it that.  But I did realize, today, that life as the mother of triplets is going to mean standing my ground, making some tough decisions, and sometimes having to defend those choices.  When Zoe & Ty had their 15-month appointment, I don't think I thought twice about the shots that they were getting.  I just "went with the flow".  But that was 2003 & 2005.  Since then, there have been scads of reports about MMR and whether or not it has ties to Autism.  For the past few months, I've been talking to people, researching, praying, reading, deciding, re-deciding, talking to more people...basically chasing my tail in circles.  This morning, I thought I had my mind made up, but driving to the appointment, I got all uncertain again.  So, Shane & I decided to talk to the doctor about our options.  One, we could give it.  He (the doctor) feels the shots are safe...no preservatives...no whatever that bad thing is called is...but he wasn't going to "talk us into it".  Two, we could hold off until the 2 y.o. visit, when they don't recieve any other shots.  Or, three, we could postpone and separate the M, the M, & the R.  Although our doctor's office doesn't stock the separated vaccines, I could pick it up at the pharmacy and they'd give it to the babies.

I have to tell you, it was just a peace-filled conversation.  At one point, I said something about sounding like a nut, since I didn't think twice with the other kids and the doctor said, "no...you'd be nuts if you didn't question things now."  Regardless of my decision, he supported us.  That's when it dawned on me...there's going to be so many of these choices we'll have to make.  Choices we didn't have to think about with Zoe & Ty.  Do we put them in the same class when they go to school?  Do we put two in one class...or all in different classes?  Do we keep them back (since they're August babies)?  What about sports...should the boys play on the same team?  Birthday parties...together...apart?  I'm sure there are others, but that's all I care to think about (it makes me stress).  When we make these choices...people are going to ask how and why we chose the way we did.  I don't think I'm ready for that!

We have friends who are passionate on boths sides of the issue, so I'm not going to mention which way we decided on the shots.  I think it's a personal decision (and I don't really want to get mean comments one way or another).  But I do want to encourage you to stand up for what you want to do with your children and their vaccinations.  If your doctor isn't as encouraging as ours is, GET A NEW ONE!  You only make these choices once.  Make sure you're at peace with it.

7 comments:

~ MJ ~ said...

Well I hope tonight goes well in the Higby house. GL!

We are doing MMR seperate. Dr Sears has a schedule to go by if you do them seperate, something you may want to check into. We are purchasing some of our vacs through a place called Wellness Pharmacy online. If you have any questions email me and I'll try to help you as much as possible.
Take Care!

Dorinda said...

Don't stress :) You'll figure it out. Your babies are doing great!!

As for CIO - that's what we use the basement for :) Don't worry it's finished and there's a whole room and bed for them but we can't hear the screaming and it doesn't wake up the other two. That and a pillow over your head work wonders!!

rachael said...

they are getting so big! and cuter than ever!

Helen said...

Glad the kiddos are doing well, but bummer about Cole's new sleep "habits". I hope you can break him of it soon!

And wow, I don't think I realized how much bigger than the others he is!

Kris said...

Glad everyone is doing good and I hope Cole starts sleeping thru again real soon!

Superhero Mom said...

Nice post Amy. As my twins were my first, I didn't know what to do either. We did question the vacs....one of my boys is suffering from ASD...not necessarily blaming the shots, but... So that said, your words are true, it is a constant journey into the unknown, and as parents we are the only voice that can and must be heard while our little ones are so little. I just had a hugh IEP meeting at my Kyle's school. I always leave exhausted. Isn't parenting amazing! We are really blessed!

CanCan (MomMostTraveled) said...

Thanks for posting this. Our babies are the same age and I have been debating what to do about shots. I think I will wait for the 2 y.o. option, since I have a boy and they seem to be at higher risk for autism.