Thursday, February 18, 2010

MIA on purpose (sorta)

Where have the blog posts been?  Simple: Stuck in my head!  Most of them sound really good when I'm thinking of them.  Then I usually fall asleep and when morning comes, so does reality...three 2 1/2 year-olds, piles of laundry, trips to and from school, and of course...a house to clean.  So there sits my laptop.  On a desk.  In the office.  Getting dusty.  And lately, by the time the house is quiet and kids are in bed, I'm beat.  There's no brain-power left.  So I leave my cute, red, much-loved, laptop in it's place and I twiddle around on my iPhone while I watch TV and fight off sleep.  It's not until I'm awoken in the middle of the night by one of my children that the thoughts (usually complaints and aggravations) for a post form in my head and help me fall back to sleep...until the next child wakes up crying.  See the cycle forming?

The last few days, my fellow 2 to 2 1/2-year old triplet moms have been emailing about potty-training.  Ugh!  Seriously.  The thought scares the daylights out of me.  A few of the moms (with triplets younger than mine) have already potty-trained their gangs.  They were giving advice to one of the moms that's about to start (or is thinking about starting).  One was telling a "disaster accident story".  Another mom (I know this is getting confusing, but hang with me...there is a point coming) wrote an email in response to the story and honestly stated that she was a "wuss" and would be putting off the potty-training.  I quickly chimed in that I'd join her club.  Her honesty was refreshing.  It got me thinking...

Maybe that's what I need: a completely honest blog post!


Buckle up...keep the comments to yourself (I'll be turning them off)...and read on, if you dare...

I'm struggling!  Big time!  The novelty of having three little ones has worn off (if it was ever really there) and I'm having a hard time.  The house isn't getting clean.  The laundry isn't getting done.  The meals are getting less and less healthy.  The patience is shorter and shorter.  I leave the house with the "babies" less and less.  I find excuses not to go out.  It's so much work.  It barely feels worth it.

I hear all the other moms talk about taking their triplets to the Zoo...or the park...or on walks...and I marvel.  How do they do it?  I can barely get my three from the car into the church for bible study 200 yards away without breaking into a sweat.  I keep thinking it'll get easier with time...but it's not.  We've been going (not so regularly) since September and it's still a fight to get them to hold hands...mine or each other's.  I'd never venture down the street with them.  How, on earth, would I keep track of them at a park?

Maybe I depended on Lindsay too much in the beginning.  Maybe I got used to having 2 extra hands.  Maybe it got easier to just leave them home. I don't have that extra help.  It's time to buck up.  It's time to make a choice.  (This is where this mega-depressing post has the promise to become a little more positive.)  It's time to come to grips with the fact that I have three 2 1/2 year-olds.  I'm not babysitting.  Their parents aren't coming to get them.  They're mine.  This is life!  This is MY life.  Stuff's not going to be easy.  There's not going to be a whole lot of time left in the day.  There's not going to be a lot of energy left.  But that's the way it's going to be...for awhile.  It may get may not...but I can't keep the triplets in the house forever.  I can't keep them in diapers until high school either (although I'm still not sold on potty-training in the next month or two).

But I CAN make a few changes.  I CAN take the triplets to the gym and bring them to "Tot Drop".  I CAN venture out with them to BJs or Walmart or (dare I say) Target.  I CAN bundle them up and romp around in the snow with them for a little bit...even if it takes 30 minutes to get them in their snow-gear.  I CAN do things with three little ones.  It's just going to take patience (Lord, this is where I'm going to need Your help) and a willingness to fail (again Lord, help me out here).

Change isn't going to happen overnight.  And there's NO WAY there will be an "outing" each day.  But we're going to start with...pardon the intentional steps. 

I'll focus on Charles Swindoll's famous attitude quote:
“I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.”

I think a big part of keeping my attitude positive is blogging at the day's end.  I need to get down the positive (and negative) points of my day.  I need to vent frustrating stories...and laugh about the funny (even if it wasn't funny until hindsight).  So it may not always be pretty.  It may not always be funny.  But it'll ALWAYS be honest!

Thanks for listening.  This has DEFINITELY helped.