Okay, here it is served up on a silver platter...your opportunity to bust on me for a lifetime:
Who will ever know why, but Monday morning, I decided I'd try on my wedding ring! Keep in mind, I took my ring off 2 months into my latest pregnancy (triplets) so that it wouldn't need to be cut off when I eventually swelled. I mean, I was SO swollen with Zoe, I was SURE I'd swell early with the triplets.
Okay...back to Monday...I hit a little resistance when I got to my knuckle, but I always did, so I just proceeded on...say it with me...MORON! Immediately, my finger began to swell and turn a LOVELY shade of blue. Lindsay (our Nanny) was quietly giggling in the living room and slowly beginning to panic. Not me, I calmly called my favorite neighbor who promptly told me my options, as she saw them: ER or Jewelry Store. I thought I'd call a store (who wants to pay the $75 ER Co-pay for a moronic move?) Here's how the conversation went:
"Hi! I have a hypothetical question for you"
"Hypothetically speaking, say a new mom of 2-month old triplets attempted to put on her wedding ring and well...hypothetically speaking, let's say the ring was pretty tight."
"Did this Mom try all the home remedies to get it off?"
"Yup...hypothetically...ice...lotion...oil...cold water...sticking her hand in the freezer...NOTHING would get it to budge...hypothetically...and now her finger is turning a lovely shade of hypothetical blue..."
"Then this mom should get to the ER or come into our store before her finger falls off!"
So I did! The store was right around the corner and the jeweler really struggled to get the clippers between my finger and the ring. After about 10 tries and a bunch of "mini" clips, the jeweler was able to pry the ring off. I guess it's a good time to get my rings sized, what do you say? Of course, I had to wait more than 3 hours before I could go back and get the ACTUAL size of my finger measured...and even then, my finger was still swollen. 24 hours later, there was still a bright red "ring" around my finger.
...And to think the ring was taken off so it wouldn't have to get cut off...Ironic, right?